Melania’s Swat Proves That She Hates Donald As Much As America Does

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Melania’s Swat Proves She Hates Donald As Much As America

The slap that the First Lady has heard all over the world is far from the first time she despised her husband. Welcome to the club.

Perhaps Melania Trump, a woman who was once photographed filling a bowl of expensive necklaces like spaghetti for Vanity Fair, has more in common with the average American than we think. initially. Like the average American, she just can’t seem to stand her husband she.

In Tel Aviv this afternoon, President Donald Trump reached out to his wife. The reluctant First Lady withdrew her hand rather than offer him the human touch, the kind of human touch that ordinary married people who love each other can do. It wasn’t done behind the scenes before an event or in the privacy of a place where it’s safe to assume there are no cameras. No, Melania got even bolder about telegraphing her disdain for Donald. She did this while she and her husband were joining Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife for a photo shoot. She did this in front of a real UN news camera, she. She did it for the whole world to see, she. He doesn’t care if he’s embarrassed, and that’s totally true.

And the whole world saw; Within minutes it had gone viral. With that swat, Melania had temporarily satiated the public’s endless appetite for seeing President Trump deny what he wanted in his most heartfelt manifestation. Trump wanted his wife to accept him, join him in acting like a normal human couple in front of the cameras rather than an orb-stroking despot wannabe. Seeing tweets from a judge breaking the immigration ban or watching a Trump attorney fuck your ass on cable news isn’t as delicious to a victory-hungry liberal as the image of a woman slapping Trump’s hand. For the millions who continue to be horrified by the Trump era, there is nothing more current than Trump schadenfreude porn in 2017. And there is no one more fit to deliver it than our First Lady Ice Queen.

This isn’t the first time Melania has denied the pleasure of the human touch on Donald’s scrawny hands. In January, when the couple arrived in Washington for their inauguration, Donald tried to hold his wife’s hand just before completing an intimidating stair-descent task. Melania did not.

The move kicked off a grand opening weekend that would read from Melania’s point of view like a novel about a tragically trapped princess or a live-action Pepe Le Pew cartoon starring Melania as the cat. Melania bowed sternly as the couple danced. At every public appearance, the impeccably dressed First Lady donned a veil of despair. Her husband often seemed to forget that she existed. They didn’t touch while kissing. Melania acted as the mascot of left-wing desperation.

In the weeks that followed, Melania’s public humiliation towards her husband only intensified. A US Weekly cover story said she was “secretly devastated” as First Lady, a story I had to object to as it was always obvious that she was unhappy. She skipped the typical first lady duties during the Japanese Prime Minister’s visit. And a few weeks ago, whoever runs the verified Twitter account favorited a Tweet describing how the Trumps are drifting apart.

All of this is happening as Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, performs many of the First Lady’s non-romantic duties, giving speeches and posing for photos. In recent interviews, Ivanka has even begun to show a strange Jackie O effect. If I were Melania, I would find everything boring.

Critics will point out that Melania, of course, is neither a hero nor a saint. She’s the one who married Donald, and whenever she gets tired of living in a golden box in the sky and feeling sorry for herself, she can leave. There are many women whose lives are much worse because of the President, and many more whose lives will be even worse without the saving grace of checks and balances. But his public play offers a nice lightness for a time that often seems devoid of it; many women want the opportunity to wave Trump’s hand.

Melania’s sarcasm also serves to expose another Trump lie: When you’re a star, they don’t always let you down.